..... and THAT is why I have hung up the #pblogger hat.

Let me lay it on the line.... I am clearly NOT a parent blogger... and not just because my @tots100 stats tell me so.

1) I don't CARE if the kids packed lunch doesn't resemble a letter of the alphabet every day.   They have never complained because the jam from their sandwich (when I'm feeling generous and change from
the normal ham) has strayed onto their slice of cheese.  I've never been screamed at because their carrot sticks were not nice and even.

In fact while I am on the subject of food I don't make their tea like pretty either (ok I did twice).  I cook the food I put it on a plate. To be honest they don't even really care that alphabet potato shapes look like letters and Peppa Pig spaghetti may as well be hoops.



2)  I only ever go on Mumsnet or Tots100 for 2 things ...... competitions/ freebies or to see how I am ranking.
I loved Tots100 when I started out, with their ethos being exactly the same as mine (except they write it in big shouty letters which I hate the use of)....

"IT’S YOUR BLOG.

DO WHAT YOU LOVE.

AND LOVE WHAT YOU DO."

Tots100 is all about UK bloggers - YAY!  They state themselves "written by bloggers in the UK"  ..........."or by UK bloggers living overseas" - so that's anyone then.  I am pretty sure given the standard of English used on some of the blogs some of their writers aren't even human let along UK citizens.

Blogging for Tots100 IS a popularity contest, no more and no less and  unless you have 36 hours a day to self promote yourself you are destined for failure - and no parent wants to fail do they?  No longer is blogging, tweeting and facebooking acceptable ways of reaching other parents.... you now need to Instagram everything, Pin it, Google it, or worse give each other 'Kred or Klout' (seriously!!).

3) The parties .. or  "blogging meet ups" always look amazing.  However only if you happen to have a babysitter as they often don't have creche facilities and God forbid that parent bloggers MAY need to have their children in tow.  They also cost a small fortune to attend by the time you put in travel/ accomodation/ food and the copious amounts of alcohol it seems custom to drink!
    If you are not at one of these massive #pblogger meetups then according to the world of twitter you really are a no-body.... but I have written more on that in my #notatbritmums post.

    Yes I have attended meet ups and yes I do blog and tweet about them.  The bonus is - these are FREE, and the first one I attended let us bring our children with us (and they enjoyed it as much as we did).


4) I love writing about my boys and our adventures, more because in 5 years time it's a great way to look back and see what we did.  Not because I want 20 people to comment telling me what a fantastic mummy I am for kissing Noah's knee better when he fell over, or how proud I must be of Ben for walking to school without a tantrum.
    I'm not a gushy mummy.  Posts that go on and on and on about how my life is coming to an end
now my 'big boy' (at 3) has started nursery 2 afternoons a week really make me scream.   Gushy sickly sweet posts that you know have only been posted as a "look how wonderful my child is because..." make me close off and reach for the sick bucket.

I am pretty sure my kids don't have a sickly sweet bone in their bodies and you are more likly to hear me regaling tales of how Ben threw sand at Noah or how Noah took the last sticker on my blog.   And if I ever do gush about them you have permission to shoot me.

However I also love writing about beauty (to an extent), cooking, nature and anything I am very kindly sent to review by anyone who likes me for who I am.... not because I have 3,000 Twitter followers or a google page ranking of 10.

5) I am a working mum .... EEEEKKKKKK - that means I actually leave my children with daddy and/ or send them to school/ nursery while I earn money.
       The fastest way to loose me as a follower is to:
                  a) complain how you can't afford to live on benefits. (FYI, I don't mind people on benefits who CAN'T work, but I have a bug bear with those who CHOOSE not to).
                  b) tell me there is not enough time in the day to get everything done when you are a stay at home mum
                  c) be rude about how parents who work don't love their children (oh yes I have read that one!!!!)

6) I don't have a bee in my bonnet because some toys state "for boys" and some "for girls".   My BOYS think Frozen is the best film ever and argue over who will be Anna and who will be Elsa.  If they had pretty dresses I am sure they would wear them.  But again - that's another post.







7) I pole dance ..... well for fitness.  I own my own pole and I have it up in the dining room.  Both boys enjoy working with it and Ben can not only climb to the top but also do basic spins.  There is
nothing seedy about it and it is a big part of my life.  Nothing annoyed me more then when I was told by a company that it was the wrong image for a parent blogger to be sending out.   Join the 21st centuary love!


Anyway that's me in a nutshell.  The parenting icons have all gone from the blog and I am working on my Twitter presence with those who I know will love me for who I am.

I'd love you to stay and follow my lifes ups and downs and our journeys ....