Wednesday, 5 August 2015

You are entitled to your opinion...... but it's wrong

I hope you will appreciate why I have disabled the comments on this post. I'm so angry at something that happened yesterday that I wanted to have a little vent, however due to the nature of the opinions I didn't want the post to become a ground for argument.

Some of you may have watched the 3 Day Nanny on channel 4 last night, personally I didn't.  From what I can gather the nanny suggested the parents used a cry it out technique on their child.   A friend on facebook posted how this was a form of child abuse.
I pointed out that I had used the cry it out method and it worked for me, my children still knew they were loved.  My boys are confident strong willed children now, they are cuddly and loveable (most of the time).  They don't resent me, they don't say "do you remember when you made me cry lots at bedtime when I was x years old"....... no... they more than likely can't even remember (these are kids who can't tell me what they did the day before!)  And yes - I do have a naughty step too.

Both this friend and her mates went on to tell me, and another lady who had also used the technique, what bad mothers we were.
They told us how much psychological damage we had caused our children by using this method. They were completely accepting of our opinions and views.
This wasn't opinions on the technique but personal digs.  They really cut deeply, telling us how we shouldn't neglect our children to make life easier for us..... my children were NOT neglected!!!

In their eyes I was possessed by the devil and didn't deserve to have children.  You see these people are earth mothers..... and I am probably as far removed from this as possible.... but not once have I told them that what they do is wrong, it's not, I don't always approve or agree, but that's my opinion.   You'll never find me breastfeeding (more on that here ) - but I would never tell anyone they shouldn't do it!   There was no way I was 'wearing' my baby, gosh I loved my boys to pieces but the thought of having them physically attached to me all day, not for me.  I've known a couple of people who did do this and their children had huge separation issues when left at nursery, at 4 years old their children are quiet, shy, introverted and find it hard to make instant bonds with other children.    Again I appreciate all children are different and I am sure half the baby wearers who read this post will say their children are confident and boisterous.

What I'm trying to say is every mother, father and child is different.  what works for you may not work for your friend, hey what worked for your first child may not work for your second.  

I'm not saying we should all share the same opinion, the world would be boring.
I'm not saying to keep quiet if you don't like the things I do, by all means please share your opinions.  But please do not launch into a abusive spiel aimed at me telling me what a bad mother I personally am because you don't respect my choices.